Sakura's Little Helpers
by HawaiianCaffeine
Summary: Have you ever gotten help when you didn't really WANT it? Well, Sakura has now. And lots of it... But that isn't always bad either. Sometimes, anyway. SakuAkat. A 'Take It or Leave It' contest entry drabble. R


**Sakura's Little Helpers**

Written by alana124pyro

--

A Contest Entry for a Plot Spin-off of**  
**

**Take It Or Leave It **

**by **

**Fallacy and Aelibia**

**--  
**

And Sakura had finally found out why all this weird stuff was happening to her—why Tsunade no longer gave her any more missions—why her friends hardly visited her, or she hardly saw them—why in the _hell_ nobody seemed to notice or care when she had just randomly decided to move into an abandoned, one-story house that was gigantic compared to just one shinobi woman living in it, way out in the middle of nowhere, away from the village.

Well, now she knew. The bastards.

And who in the hell thought it was a "good" idea to saddle her with eight _children_ (eight!) to take care of for a week, again? Obviously somebody with balls of _steel_, since she would most likely hunt the jackass down and slaughter him.

It especially didn't help her any to have to take _care_ of said children with seven _very_ conspicuous Akatsuki members that just _happened_ to hang out in her house _for every living second of her life_, and that these men, who used to be murdering fiends of destruction and chaos, now turned into balls of kittens whenever without the contact of water somewhere on their skin.

Somebody must have some sense of ironic humor out there. Damn it.

* * *

**Before Move to New House . . .**

_Brriiing!_

The pop of a Coke-can top was heard as the lazy man sitting on his butt on the couch, watching an idiot commercial didn't even blink as he replied to the phone ring, "I'm not getting it." He looked over to the other lazy guys, seeing what they would say to that.

_Brriiing! _

They stayed motionless as took a sip from their, already opened, can of soda. Apparently, it wasn't worth their time either.

He nodded as adjusted his lazy sitting position on the couch back towards the TV, almost slouching down. As he brought the can to his mouth he replied, "Yep." Whoever's shitty life that was on the other end of that phone wasn't worth the small arm-reach that it would take to pick up the phone. Besides, as Akatsuki on the down low, they were supposed to remain inconspicuous—incognito—fucking invisible to all outsiders—

"Do not worry—Tobi will get it!"

As the last ring started to sound with another_ Brrrrriiiii—,_ the ecstatic Tobi picked up the phone and answered in a gleeful voice, "This is Sakura-chan's friend at Sakura-chan's house speaking—how may I help you?"

Hidan let out a belch as he continued to watch TV. Well, there went that plan. He sighed as he slowly picked himself up and started into another part of the house.

"I'm not going to be responsible for this shit when Sakura gets home."

The other seemed to think so too, as Itachi, followed by Kisame, Deidara, Kakuzu, and then Zetsu, stood up in the cramp room, and wandered into a different part of the house—most likely to Sakura's bedroom to rummage threw her crap again with nothing better to do.

* * *

"_Hello—who is this? Where's Sakura-chan?"_

Tobi's eyes lit up, happy with the idea of talking about his favorite person, "Sakura-chan is away to get groceries! She'll be a while. Do you want to leave a message?"

The guy on the phone seemed a little unsure as there was a short pause in the reply, _"Uhh . . . little boy . . . why are you at Sakura-chan's house, again?"_

Tobi's smile widened, "Sakura-chan is taking care of Tob—of me!"

The rough voice on the phone replied to this shocked, _"WHAT? You mean Sakura-chan has a _heart_—I mean, she can take care of you?"_

Tobi frowned at the idea that seemed to exude from the phone-caller that his Sakura-chan could not take care of someone—but then he grinned widely again as he realized he could make Sakura-chan happy by complimenting her on this fact, "Yes! Sakura-chan is very good at taking care of me!! She feeds me all the time and even lets me sleep in her own bed sometimes when To—I have bad dreams! Sakura-chan is really nice!"

Another (most likely shocked) moment of silence over the phone. Obviously, he had the idea that Sakura-chan was _not_ so tolerant with little children. The phone-caller's eyes grew. Unless . . .

"_Has Sakura-chan been kind of sad lately? —Lonely?"_

Tobi frowned again as he thought about that. Sad? Well . . . there was last night after fixing the flue-infected Akatsuki men. Of course, those tears were from all the alcohol fumes that had gotten into her eyes . . . but then . . . you never know. And she had told them that they were moving soon, so she may have been really sad about that. . . .

Oh no!

"Yes! I do think Sakura-chan is very sad!! Oh, this is very, very bad! I do not know how to fix this!"

The voice on the other end went silent for a second before saying, _"I'll handle it—I'll help Sakura-chan, don't worry, kid! Bye!"_

Tobi grinned widely, "Thank you, mister! Thank you so much! Bye-bye!" Tobi quickly set the phone the receiver, practically glowing. Sakura-chan would be just fine!

* * *

Naruto slowly hung up the phone. This had to be _the_ weirdest thing he ever thought Sakura-chan would do. And the last thing too.

. . . Just randomly picking up a kid—from the street? Who knows? —And then keeping him, when it was customary to give the kid to the Day Care for the village—eventually the boy would have gotten adopted from the orphanage (a good orphanage since they took care of it as part of their village.) Naruto could see how she may want to have given special attention, it being a little kid—but hiding him? For such a period of time? Well, that explained her new cats. Normally, Sakura didn't want to deal with animals in her apartment. But children _loved_ pets. He himself would have _gotten_ one _years_ ago if Sakura hadn't forbidden it, saying that there'd be no way that he'd be able to take care of it—especially when the poor thing would eventually starve while he was gone on missions for so long. Naruto had always argued with her about it—but, then, he'd never gotten one, so we know who won that fight.

And Sakura-chan was lonely . . . a couple of her friends had been gone on missions lately and he himself had just gotten back from one—that was why he was calling. Nobody had told her about the missions because they were secret—Tsunade had forbidden any word of them until they were completed. But what got Naruto was—if she was sad, why hadn't she gone to one of the others for support? Surely someone would have been there for her, even when he wasn't. Any one of the old Rookie Nine would have been good. –Instead she had taken in a kid.

Naruto furrowed his brow as he started to pace his small apartment room—his head almost touching the ceiling now, since he had grown so tall after his puberty growth-spurt.

But what had brought all this on? Something must have happened since Sakura-chan had never acted this way before (except once after Sasuke-teme left, but she had gone to Naruto then and he had patched things up.)

Naruto frowned as he ducked his head under his light fixture while pacing back across the floor.

Had she gone on a mission and it went bad? Maybe it was one of those "a ninja seeing too much" kinds of things. Maybe she had been unable to save a patient, like the Old Lady, and just fell into a depressive state. It could've been a lot of things. Maybe taking care of this kid was what she did to help her out of her small depression. Everybody had something weird they did to take their mind off of it all, every once and a while. Like Kakashi and his porn!

Naruto's face brightened and his head lifted as he thought he was starting to get the situation. He went cross-eyed as his face went straight into the light fixture while pacing, and his brain scrambled for a second before clearing again. When Naruto got his head on straight again, he lowered his head (to prevent further damage) and started to pace even faster than before in his tiny room.

Yes—that must be it! His Sakura-chan was just trying to cope and get better from whatever it was that happened! —And obviously she wouldn't have been able to tell him or anyone else about it because missions were confidential—it was against the law to do otherwise!

And—and—Naruto stopped walking at the end of the room as his eyes got huge and he clapped his hands together in a (rare) moment of an idea.

And he could help!

Naruto gave his "foxy" grin as he ran over to his small chair, grabbed his coat, and hurriedly put it on while simultaneously trying to shut the door while walking out.

It was time to go see the Old Lady.

* * *

She tipped the large glass bottle into her mouth, trying to get it as high as it would go, to receive every last bit and drop of the beautiful, life-giving, soul-saving, pure love-fulfilling elixir of—

There was a loud _BANG_ as an overly loud blond-headed ninja barged into the office; his usual self-determined aura surrounded him _as always._

Tsunade flinched as her almost empty (one drop left) bottle collided with the floor and broke into large shards of dangerous glass.

"What the hell do you want, Naruto!" _And why the hell does he always feel the need to make an entrance! Freaking disrespectful kids these days—_

"Old Lady—"

_Oh, for the love of—_

"Stop CALLING me that—show some respect for the—"

Naruto cut her off, "—But Old _Lady_—"

Tsunade swore as she could already feel _another_ fucking headache coming on. First freaking Sakura, and her begging to move . . . now this freaking idiot . . . why in the hell did I say yes to being Hokage again?

Only one hug freaking headache after another—

Tsunade clenched her jaw tightly and popped it at the same time as she tried to force some relaxation. It wasn't working too well. She sighed.

"—Oh, just forget it, Naruto. Besides, you probably haven't heard yet, and I might as well tell you that Sakura has decided to move off a little ways into a larger house—although I haven't a fucking CLUE as to why—and to a place that has lots of acres surrounding it."

Naruto's eyes bugged out of his head. It would have been very interesting to see for any normal spectator, but as Naruto was _always_ overreacting to everything, this was just a common occurrence.

Tsunade brought in her breath, obviously realizing what was about to happen.

"I WAS RIGHT, THEN, OLD LADY!"

Why must he _always_ scream, as well? I mean, was it _really_ that _hard_ to just act like normal people and tone it down a notch—hell, wasn't he supposed to be a freaking ninja—isn't that part of the job description? Whoever in the hell let him pass Genin was seriously off of their rocker—oh, wait; that was her. Figures.

Tsunade gritted her teeth.

"You were right about wha—"

Naruto cut in _again_, "Awe, Old Lady—See, it all happened like this—I called up Sakura-chan after I finished my mission, right? I haven't seen her in a while so I figured I'd call in a Ramen 'date' (I know Sakura-chan _hates_ me calling it a date, but you know—anyways,) and this little kid answered the phone and at first I thought that I had the wrong number, but I _knew_ I didn't dial it wrong, but then this little boy had answered the phone—but, anyway, I asked who it was and _he_ said that Sakura-chan wasn't home because she was grocery shopping and asked if he could take a message, but _I'm_ trying to figure out what's going on since there's a STRANGER kid at Sakura-chan's house, but HE says that he—"

Tsunade rolled her eyes as she had a short passing thought of just strangling the idiot to get him to _just shut up and get to the point. _He'd probably just try to keep talking, even through that—one of the great many qualities that Naruto seemed to possess.

"—NARUTO! Just tell me, in a SUMMARY, what's going on."

"Oh . . . well, all right. Uh, I found out Sakura-chan's sad and LONELY! —And that she's even taken in an actual KID to keep her from spiraling into a terrible depression! And she doesn't want to come and hang out with her friends—it seems like she wants the opposite—to stay away from us!"

Tsunade raised an eyebrow.

"Aaand?" She said, motioning for him to get to the point.

"Well—don't you see, Old Lady?!" Tsunade twitched, "—We can help by letting her watch _more_ kids! It'll help her bounce back _even faster_! I mean, Sakura-chan is all alone and hurting and I want to help, but don't know any other way how and—"

"OKAY—I mean, okay, Naruto . . ." Tsunade furrowed her brow in worry, "Are you _sure_ about this? Sakura never really seemed the type to—"

"OF COURSE I'm sure! I mean—look at where she's moving! A big house with lots of room to move and play around and stuff—she's practically BEGGING us to let her take care of some kids!! And she'll be a pretty good distance away from most of us, so we don't make her worse!"

Tsunade still looked unsure as she stared down at the broken sake bottle on the floor, her mind obviously on more important things.

Naruto walked up and crouched down underneath her gaze, with his large, please-help-the-poor-helpless-child-of-homelessness, Look.

"Please, Tsunade-sama—This is SAKURA-chan, we're talking about—I'd do anything for her. –And it couldn't hurt to let the orphanage kids go to her house for a little while and have her look over them. Sakura would never do anything to hurt them—please?" He continued to look up at her with big, sad, waif, eyes.

Tsunade sighed as she closed her eyes, as she now knew that, yes, she _definitely_ had a gigantic headache. She waved Naruto off with a head nod. He grinned widely as he bowed and sprinted out to complete his self-imposed mission.

Damn, fucking, shitty, hell-hole, bastard teenage—Tsunade's thought process ceased as she spotted another, back-up, bottle of sake in the hidden corner of her closet in the office.

She sighed as she stood up and made her way over to her secret stash. Somehow, she didn't think that what Naruto wanted to do would end very well—but, as Tsunade grabbed her alcohol, who the hell cares? She was about to get beyond wasted in a few minutes anyway, and this wasn't her problem anymore.

It wasn't like Sakura wasn't capable.

* * *

Naruto held the tiny hand at the foot of Sakura-chan's new home. He stopped to look around and count them all and make sure everything was perfect for when she opened the door and saw them. With his right hand he slowly pointed at them all and silently counted them. None were too young or too old. –About between the ages of six to eleven, all of them being civilian orphanage kids who looked so cute, they could probably commit murder _and_ _get away with it_. Perfect.

"Now, don't forget what I told you guys—be really good to Sakura-chan and look VERY cute—everything'll be just perfect!"

The blond-headed ninja's goofy grin widened as they all looked up at him with the same sad, waif, eyes that he somehow pulled off too.

"GREAT!" Naruto complemented loudly—he ducked his head as he remembered that he was going to try and do this quietly, so that he could just knock and run off before Sakura-chan saw him. She didn't want to be anywhere near other people right? He'd just leave a note for her, from Tsunade, explaining that this was a recent "mission" that she needed her to do. Of course, Sakura-chan was too kind to accept any gifts or help—so let her think she had no other choice—even when it was to help her!

One of the older boys in the group raised his hand in question. Naruto's brightened face shown down on the kid, obviously asking what he wanted to know.

He looked up into the glaring sun that was Naruto, and half-lidded asked, "So—is she hot, or what?"

Naruto's brightness cracked as he gritted his teeth. He'd BETTER not be hitting on his Sakura-chan or so help him—

His thoughts halted as he heard footsteps in the house, slowly making their way to the front door. Naruto's head went back and forth between the door and the children in a panicky way. Well, if this was what Sakura-chan wanted—

Naruto waved bye quickly and gave a small glare to the offending boy before turning around and running off, back home to leave Sakura-chan alone in her complete and utter happiness with the children.

* * *

Zetsu opened the door.

"What the—"

"—fuck." Hidan glared down at the little kids as more Akatsuki members heard the commotion that at was outside and came to see what was going on. Deidara raised his eyebrows, Zetsu just looked at the children (probably trying to guess at what was happening), Kakuzu crossed his arms and looked (which translated to _glaring_ for the rest of the normal population), Kisame's face remained blank as he stood there, and Itachi wasn't even there. Probably not worth his time. And Tobi . . .

"FRIENDS OF SAKURA-CHAN!" Tobi bounded through the hallway, pushing passed all of the dangerous Akatsuki members that could kill any person on the planet within a minute, to run straight into the bunch of kids, mauling four or five of them with a giant pick-up bear-hug.

The group of men crowding the doorway turned their eyes inside as they heard a screech of, "What the HELL, you guys—don't answer the door—what part of KEEPING LOW do you not understa—"

Her speech left her as her jaw hung open and her eyes turned to saucers as she walked towards the doorway, and saw the group of kids and –what the hell— Tobi holding some of them in arms.

Oh _hell_ no. No, not just hell no—hell _fuck_ no.

Sakura groaned as she covered her eyes with her hand at her last thought. They were rubbing off on her. She was going to tell them all (probably mostly Hidan) to _stop_ the hell cussing or she'd be stuck like this _forever_. Damn it.

She sighed wearily as her hand slid off of her face and down to rest beside her.

And what was—no, how were _they_—and _Tobi_—

"What is _this_?" Sakura asked, half weary, and half winy as she annunciated her words by bringing up her hand to motion to—_whatever it was_.

"I'm sure that _this_ will explain it all."

Sakura was "man" enough to say that, yes, she did flinch when she heard Itachi _who_ _just randomly pop up out of freaking nowhere_, standing outside, already holding out some sort of letter. She really ought to figure out how he _did_ that—

Zetsu stepped outside, and grabbed the letter-looking paper. Before Sakura could object, he was already opening the seal and reading its contents.

Irked, but with nothing to do, Sakura shut her mouth and stood there with her arms crossed while glaring, and tapping her foot.

When he was done reading it, and looked up, Sakura said, "Oh, so _now_ you're done—you know, with reading my personal mail that _looks_ like an official shinobi mission?"

Zetsu blinked.

"Yes, I am." He stated plainly, and then handed over the paper to her, obviously feeling no guilt what-so-ever.

Sakura scowled as she received the paper and stuck her face as close as possible to read it, showing her irritation. It took her a second to concentrate on what she was looking at, before she could make it out.

_--_

_**Mission:**__ Baby-sit eight orphans between the ages of six to eleven-years-old for two days (hours may vary)_

_**Acting Ninja: **__ Sakura Haruno_

_**Other Information:**__ Because of the shortage of staff members from various illnesses and because of possible personal interests, you have been chosen to perform this mission. _

_After the rest of today, and all of tomorrow, the transportation person shall be here at oh-eight-hundred hours to collect them. Enjoy._

_--  
_

Sakura re-read this message three times before she finally decided that it was _not_ a joke and nobody would be jumping out of the bushes to say "Surprise! Just joking!" anytime soon. Or ever.

_Damn it Shishou! I know you wanted revenge for hiding your sake that one time when I was thirteen, but this is low! Even for you!_ Sakura thought angrily as she stamped and huffed back and forth on her front porch. The children and the guys watched her with their head going back-and-forth from her pacing. She couldn't even hide all the men from the kids by popping off their water bracelets to turn them into kittens. The children had already _seen_ them; it was too late.

While Sakura was muttering things to herself about "can't do it" and "kill Shishou" and "crazy, deranged, criminals", Kisame crossed his arms and said, "You know—it might be more efficient to have a woman-breakdown inside the house where the 'crazy, deranged criminals' might not be seen."

Sakura stopped her pacing abruptly and stared at the group of S-class worthy evil men crowding her doorway. Then she snapped her gaze to the big-eyed orphans, standing in a group together, all of them looking up at her with innocence and love.

"Oh just _hell_."

* * *

Sakura sighed as she waved them all in her just-big-enough living room. The children continued to stay grouped together, just as the Akatsuki were doing at the moment. She stepped back, in the front of the room, and looked at both groups.

"Well, this is might be a bit hard . . . but, since it has to be done . . ."

Sakura narrowed her focus to the guys. "You guys can go to another part of the house while I watch these little sh—kids." She figured at some point she might need to pee or rest, but that could be rationed out later. Besides, sleep wasn't that important, and hey! people went to the bathroom all day, every day—it's not like it couldn't be done away with for the next _two days_. Especially after drinking all that water after training in the backyard—

Zetsu cleared his throat, gaining Sakura's attention.

"Wouldn't it be effective to have all of us watch over a child each?"

Hidan stood up straight, "Speak for yourself plant-man, if I have to watch over any of these fucking little shits, I'm killing them _and_ myself. A curse that forces me to stay with you jackasses and an emotionally jacked-up bitch? I can handle that. But them? _Hell no_."

The rest of them stayed silent as they looked down at the children. Well, Kakuzu glared, Tobi looked excited, Deidara looked curious, Kisame looked like he didn't give a damn, and Itachi stood there blankly watching the paint on the wall peel.

Sakura gritted her teeth. There was no way—no way that she was going to leave seven children in the hands of evil-incarnate, murdering fiends of destruction, freaking devil worshipers—

And here's the sensible, peacemaker Zetsu again.

"You can't watch them all by yourself—it's physically impossible. Not only that, but at least this way we can break them up before they get wild as children do when they're together."

Sakura took in a large breath.

He was right; there was no way that she'd be able to take care of them all and . . .

What the hell was she thinking?! How could she even consider letting those innocent children in the hands of—

A young boy raised his hand in the air.

Sakura turned to him tiredly.

"_Yes?_"

"Are you the lady looking after us?"

Sakura's eyes softened.

"Yeah, I am."

The boy looked down before looking back up and said, "Oh, okay. I just thought that the lady looking after us was supposed to be hot. Guess not."

Sakura's jaw clenched and she could swear that it cracked in half from anger.

Hidan raised his hand.

"I'll take him."

Sakura glared.

"I'm _not_ going to—"

"Hey—Miss Lady Person? Is this expensive?"

Sakura looked over to see one of the little girls—seven years old—holding a priceless crystal that she had won using all the skill and experience collected over years—

_Crash._

Sakura winced in physical pain.

The little girl looked up.

"Oops."

How in the world was going to be able to watch them all? Already the boys were starting to argue, play, run-around, and tease the little girls, and giggle.

Sakura shook her head in defeat and said, "Sorry, as much as I really want to (which is a LOT), I can't. Just—go do something. I'll be _fine_. It's only the rest of today, tomorrow, and that morning."

The men stood there staring at her.

Sakura rolled her eyes.

"Good-_bye_ now." She hinted toward the door with her eyes while saying this.

Slowly the guys started filing out of the room. The last out was Zetsu. He looked back once at her with a little concern, and then was gone.

Sakura sighed (again) as she turned to the group of kids that were already starting to run around the room.

This was going to _suck_. She would definitely get Shishou back for this.

* * *

It was the next morning and she _still_ hadn't gotten any sleep—weren't kids supposed to _need_ that or something?! And you can just forget bathroom breaks. She tried it once, and ended up having twenty broken things, and children crying and fighting _everywhere_. It was like the seventh level of hell.

"Little boy—no—you give that back to her—you know you shouldn't be—_what the hell are you doing now_?"

The boy giggled—which Sakura swears was an evil goblin one that was done on the sole purpose of irritating her to death—and ran off into the riot of kids in the room, completely making Sakura lose sight of him.

Good—God—DAMN it.

Man, she hated little kids now.

Sakura turned around.

"Hey—no—yes, you—you know what your doing—HEY, stop THAT! I'm going to freaking KILL you, you little son-of-a—"

Sakura stopped as she heard some crying from a little girl in the middle of the room.

_What now?_

Sakura walked up to the little girl and bent over and asked in the little kid 'nice' voice, "Hey—what's wrong?"

Tiny tears came out as she rubbed her eyes with one hand, and then with the other pointed out another little boy standing on the side looking really uncomfortable and said in the saddest voice, "He _pushed_ me! And it _hurt_! WAAAAAAH!"

Sakura turned her gaze to the boy who was frowning and became defensive and said, "I didn't do it! Not on purpose! I was just trying to play tag—and she's just being a baby!"

The little girl continued to cry while the boy continued to try and tell his side of the story. All in all, it was driving Sakura nuts.

_Holy crap—somebody kill me now while I'm still sane enough to make this decision to end my life!_

Sakura groaned as she gripped her head with her right hand.

"You know, kids with demons inside of them look a lot like that when it attacks their mind and drives them to the brink of insanity."

Sakura looked up to see Deidara walking into the room to witness her demise. She scowled.

"Just thought you'd like to know."

Sakura gave a flat expression.

"Gee, thanks. My life is now complete. You've just helped me out _so_ much."

Deidara shrugged.

"You welcome."

Sakura rolled her eyes as she bent down to pick up the little girl and bounce her on her hip, while scolding the little boy (but not to harshly, since it was an accident) to be more careful.

A second later, the little girl's tears were dried up and she was laughing. The boy was back to running around the room and Sakura's minor problem was fixed. But she had to stop that kid from running, dang it. . . .

Sakura saw him about to run across from her path, and she bent to grab him. Deidara was looking away distractedly at a little boy try to reach the door knob (it was pretty funny, actually, since he was so short and would never make it), which was why he didn't see another little boy in a corner try to bend a spoon back and mess up, making the utensil fly into the air—right into the back of Sakura's neck.

Deidara looked over when he heard an "oof" and a thump.

Uh-oh.

* * *

The Akatsuki members collected in the living room after hearing a loud thump echo across the house.

Being the last one in, Zetsu was the last to see what happened. He frowned as he saw that Sakura was lying face down on the hardwood floor.

"How come nobody put her on the couch?"

"Who the hell _cares_—she's unconscious. And now we have to deal with _this_ damn mess." Hidan motioned to the kids who were still running around and having fun, despite the incapacitated baby-sitter.

Tobi, who looked sad beyond belief, picked Sakura up and plopped her on the couch, which was followed by him practically jumping her as he snuggled in the little crack between Sakura and the side of the couch, hugging her tight.

"It's okay Sakura-chan! We'll watch out for the kids for you—we'll help you!"

"I really doubt that Sakura would much like you molesting her while she's knocked out. –And I don't think Zetsu likes it much either." Deidara pointed out. Zetsu continued to glare at Tobi, thinking about all the ways to incapacitate Tobi so that he would be forced to leave Sakura alone.

"Great—you mean we actually do have to watch these fucking—" Hidan stopped as the whole room went silent with all the little kids looking at Hidan with big eyes and pointing fingers with lots of gasping.

"—He said the f-word!"

"He just cursed—"

"I'm _teeellling_—"

"His mama won't be happy when she finds out—"

"_Shh_! What if he doesn't _have_ a mama—"

Hidan rolled his eyes.

"Oh, just HELL. Fuck this—"

Hidan walked into the heard of kids and grabbed the same eleven year old boy that had insulted Sakura earlier, and walked off into the hallway toward his room saying, "God, I hate this fucking place—soon as I get out I'm going to burn this fucking place to the ground along with all these children and the rest of them, mother fuckers—"

The guys stared at the now silent children. The children stared at the silent tall people.

Kakuzu decided to just get it over with and grabbed a random boy by the arm and walked off.

Kisame looked at the other guys.

"So who's getting the extra kid now that Sakura's unconscious? There are seven of us and eight of them."

Itachi blinked slowly, before going and grabbing a little girl's hand that was holding a teddy bear and then leaving the living room. Zetsu thought about reminding him not to kill anybody, nor use his technique on the kid . . . but Itachi was practical enough. He wouldn't need reminding, really. Obviously he wouldn't do anything to jeopardize them—in fact, Zetsu probably should be more worried about the other guys. . . .

Zetsu shrugged as he grabbed another little girl's hand too, and left; he was followed by Deidara who had already picked up another girl and put her on his hip and walked out.

Tobi jumped up out of the couch and grabbed the youngest little boy and carried him out of the room, leaving Kisame all alone with one little boy and one little girl.

Well, that answered _that_ question. He shrugged as he sat down on the Lazy-boy chair which was next to the couch, and flipped on the TV.

"Sit on the floor and watch the TV. If you misbehave, I'm locking you in the closet. Clear?"

The boy and girl gazed at him.

Kisame nodded.

"Good."

* * *

Kakuzu crossed his arms and stared at the boy who was grinning widely up at him with his two-front-teeth missing.

"Hi! I'm—"

He glared down at the kid.

The kid bit his lip in nervousness. A second later, he seemed to brighten with an idea as he straightened up and took the same stance as Kakuzu—arms crossed, hard look, back against the wall.

Kakuzu glanced down at his new mini-me. His mini-me glanced up at him. They both turned their gaze to look forward at the same time.

Hm. Not to bad. Wonder if he knows how to count money yet. . . .

* * *

Hidan flipped through some magazines while the kid just stood there and stared at him.

He slowly got more and more annoyed while trying to look at his playboy porn. Was that damn kid going to just stand there all day?

"Stop staring."

He glanced up at the kid _still staring at him_.

"I have nothing to do."

Hidan sighed. He flicked his gaze to the boy and rummaged under his mattress for a second before pulling another magazine out, and throwing it at him while saying, "Here, read this. Now leave me alone."

Hidan went back to his porn.

The little kid laid down on the floor with his chin held up by his hands as he flip pass a page full of cars.

Hah. And you thought it was going to be porn. No, that was on the _next_ page.

* * *

Itachi stared down at his teacup with his legs drawn up at the too-small tea-party table.

The little girl looked up at the squished guy and said, "Freckles says that he would like some more sugar pwease." She motioned to her stuffed animal.

He remained unmoved as he sat there and blankly stared at the little cup with a spoon in it that was supposedly "sugar."

The little girl sighed. Just her luck to get _this_ broken toy.

Why do all the other kids get to have all the fun?

* * *

Zetsu coughed. The girl fidgeted. They both sat on the two chairs in the room that both faced the opposite white-washed wall.

"Is there uh . . . something you want to do?" Zetsu asked, trying to make conversation.

"No."

Zetsu blinked at the wall.

"Are you hungry?"

"No."

He crossed his arms and tried to find a comfortable position in the chair.

"Thirsty?"

"Not really."

Zetsu coughed again.

"Oh. Okay."

And the staring at the white wall continued.

* * *

Deidara grinned widely as he gave a thumbs-up approval while the little girl connected the two wires together in the backyard, some ways away from the house.

"Perfect! Now just light the fuse, and run over here again so you can witness TRUE art, yeah!" It wasn't as big as he wanted it to be, what with the limited supplies at the house, but it was good enough for now. Besides, household products usually work decently well for these kinds of things.

The little girl nodded her head vigorously, the much to large goggles place on her face bouncing up and down as she followed his instructions and then came running back to stand beside him.

Three seconds later, there was a medium sized explosion on the ground, followed by a much larger explosion in the air, creating lots of noise and sound.

The little girl pulled on his clothes.

He looked down, "Yeah?"

She gave a wide, toothy smile as she pushed up her crooked goggles.

"Did I do good, huh?"

He grinned again.

"Excellent—Now lets try something . . . bigger, yeah."

The little girl grinned too, happy to please her new friend.

"Okay."

* * *

"ONE—TWO—THREE—FOUR—FIVE—TEN—THIRTEEN—FIFTEEN—TWENTY! READY OR NOT, HERE I COME!!"

Tobi sprang from the chair that he had been sitting on that was to be the "base." He started running all over the house looking in odd places such as cracks, holes, and random cereal boxes that was obviously too small for even a small child of _the kid's_ size. Oh, well.

After a few minutes of searching, Tobi started to get sad and frustrated.

Tobi started to wail, "Where ARE you Tommy? Tobi cannot find you!!"

A second later a muffled giggle could be heard from the kitchen. Tobi got a look like he just received a whole _bucketful_ of candy. With a gleeful grin, he skidded into the kitchen and slid to a stop in front of the cabinets.

"Tobi has FOUND you!!" Of course, only Tobi would not think of using his ninja skills to find a kid during hide-and-go-seek.

The giggling got louder and was followed by a shriek of delight when Tobi pulled the cabinet opened—just to find the kid gone.

Tobi blinked.

"Tobi was SURE that he heard you in here?" He started to stick his head in and search every crevice as if the kid would just randomly pop out of the wood.

"Is Tommy a ninja too?"

There was an almost silent creak of a cabinet right next too the one that Tobi opened as the kid tried to be quiet in his escape. He only got his feet to touch the floor before he was tackled by Tobi. A stream of giggles and shrieks of laughter followed as he tried to escape the adult's grip.

Tommy did escape for all of three seconds, giving him enough time to grab something on the counter. Tobi realized too late what it was as the flour went "_POOF!_" everywhere.

Everything went to a standstill as Tobi, sitting on the floor, looked up at the kid with wide eyes and a face covered with flour. The kid mimicked his expression as he looked down at Tobi with large eyes and a floured up face.

At the same time, they both said, "That was AWESOME!"

Grins spread on their faces.

Tobi got a mischievous Look as he said, "Does Tommy want to help Tobi look for MORE fun stuff in the kitchen like the flour?!"

Tommy copied the mischievous Look.

"I tink I saw a bag of su-gar in de cabinet I was hiding in."

* * *

Kisame started to tense up at the most important part in the movie on TV.

"_. . . But why, Jimmy? How could you do this—I thought you loved me—what about—what about the kids? Don't they deserve a father?"_

"_I'm so sorry but I can't—wait—Kids? Rebecca—we don't have any kids."_

_Rebecca looked up, guilty, as she put her hands on her tummy._

"_We do now." She said seriously._

"_But—Rebecca—I've been gone on the business trip for months—"_

_Rebecca looked up wide-eyed, "That's because—"_

A loud voice interrupted the climax with a burst of, "I'm BORED, can we got do something ELSE, _PLEASE_?"

Kisame resisted (for the first time in his life) strangling him.

The kid stood in front of the TV with his arms crossed. The girl stood next to him with a similar position.

"Get. Out. Of. The way. _Now_."

"But—"

Kisame glared. Grumbling, he and the girl backed away from the TV and plopped down.

He flashed his teeth in a smile at them, before turning back to the TV and continued watching his soap.

Whoever said taking care of kids was hard was an idiot.

* * *

"So . . . do you want to play a game?"

The kid's face looked blank, as she replied, "No."

Zetsu wondered if it was possible to count all the cracks in the wall opposite of them. Then he thought about actually trying it.

After having sat there without saying anything but a yes or no, Zetsu wondered if it was a good thing when she finally turned to him in her chair and said, "You're weird. What kind of guy is half _pasty-white_ and half _dark_ _green_? Blue and pink would have been prettier." After saying this, she turned her face back to the wall, silent once more.

Zetsu sighed as he started his count.

* * *

The little girl at the tea table crossed her arms in irritation as she stared at the blank adult who just _sat there and sat there_. How was that possible, anyway? Maybe he was slow?

She pursed her lips as he did the first movement in the many hours that they'd been sitting there…flicking his gaze from the table, to the girl, then back to the table again.

The girl changed her mind. Maybe he wasn't slow—maybe he was just shy!

She grinned as she stood up from the table and started running all over the room looking for rubber bands. Itachi's head followed her all around the room, rummaging through his crap. A few minutes later, she returned to the table with her prizes held in her hands.

Lots of rubber bands and hair ties.

Her grin widened as she said, "Hair Beauty Care time!!" It was perfect! He didn't have to do anything but sit there and he had _lots_ of hair! More than most girls she knew even!

Itachi stared.

"You are not touching my hair."

And that was that.

The girl's happy façade fell along with all the hair ties she held in her arms.

Frustrated, she marched up the dangerous Akatsuki, grabbed his hand, and started pulling him out of the chair and into the hallway.

* * *

Sakura rolled over while covering her eyes with her arm and groaning.

What in the hell _happened_? She had a _killer_ headache that seemed to originate from her _neck_ . . .

She suddenly recalled the children and sharp pain to the back of her neck while she was distracted. Sakura bolted up from her laying position on the couch to a sitting position, eyes wide, as she looked frantically around, realizing also that there were no loud noises—noises of _children_.

Oh, just _hell_.

Sakura jumped from the couch, about ready to run around the house like a chicken with her head cut off, when she took notice of an abnormal shark-man staring intently at the TV on the Lazy-boy chair adjacent to her, with two children sitting on the floor with the same blank look pointed towards the television.

"—_But—Jimmy—I thought you loved me? –How can you—"_

"_I'm sorry—I do love you, but I just can't handle this Rebecca—you understand, right? It's just to much—"_

Sakura interrupted the show by sliding in front of it, looking frantically down at the children and Kisame.

"Where did the rest of them go?!"

Sakura looked about ready to fall off the rocker—forget the rocker, she looked like she was about to fall off of a hundred-story building. She started to tap her fingers on her shoulder, as he seemed to take his _sweet damn time_ in looking up from the TV and actually answer her.

"Who the hell cares as long as they aren't making that racket from before?"

Sakura glared with every ounce of anger she possessed. Which was a lot.

Kisame shrugged, hand still on the remote, practically itching to press a button.

"We split up the kids. They're probably somewhere around the house—probably in their rooms or something. How the hell should I know?"

Sakura gritted her teeth while she glared at him some more. But there was no time for this—what if one of the kids got hurt by accidentally pissing off the wrong person—hell, even if they _didn't_, God knows the _corruption_ that could be caused by them—

Sakura froze as the first name came to mind of "child corruption." _Hidan_. Damn it. She was going to freakin' kick his _ass_—

"Would you mind getting out of the way. I can't see the TV." Kisame's dead eyes looked up at Sakura.

Deciding to ignore the question that sounded more like a command, Sakura took off in search of her first issue.

* * *

Hidan clenched his teeth as he heard the boy sigh _again_. One more time and funeral plans would have to be brought up soon—

"_What_ it the _problem_?"

He glared down at the kid who was still flipping through the magazine, not even really paying attention to it at all—and it was perfectly good porn, thank you!

The kid looked up.

"It's just that—well—I don't really get some of this . . ."

What the _hell_.

"What the hell? What do you _mean_, 'you don't get it'? It's a magazine with pictures—you _look_ at it."

The boy shrugged. "I know about kissing and all that stuff. I've got a girlfriend—but I don't get—_this_." The boy lifted up a picture of of a girl in some sort of sexual position—

Oh hell no.

"You mean you don't know about _sex_? What the hell are they _teaching_ kids now-a-days? What is _wrong_ with fucking parents—GOD!"

Hidan ripped the magazine out of the boy's hand and shoved it back under his mattress indignantly.

The kid shrugged again.

"I'm an orphan, remember?"

Hidan blew out through his nose saying, _as if_ that was an excuse.

"Well you can just fucking forget about getting it from me—there are people out there whose job it is to teach this shit and I'm no damn father—or guardian—or babysitter shit!" He crossed his arms as he went back to his own magazine.

"Uh . . . but isn't that what you're doing now?"

Hidan glared.

"No—I'm looking after you—not babysitting you. If you go eat a bucketful of candy, write all over the fucking walls, and commit murder, that's your business. You're old enough to figure that shit out on your own, just so long as you don't be a dumbass and kill yourself jumping off a bridge or some shit like that. THAT'S my job." After saying this, Hidan went back to reading his magazine and completely ignoring that little bastard.

A minute later, Hidan had a someone's-staring-at-you vibe, and he started to tense up with irritation again. Obviously, the kid still wanted a good explanation as too the whole idea of sex.

Damn it, he hated children. This was why he refused to have one.

Hidan focused his glare back on the kid as Hidan asked, "Do you at least know where in the hell babies come from?"

The boy shook his head.

Oh hell.

Hidan rolled his eyes as he showed the kid the magazine and pointed to the girl's stomach.

"You see that? Your ass grows in there until you get big enough to say, 'hell no' and push out through," Hidan moved his finger downward, "there. Her vigina. Like a huge ass watermelon. Not fucking rocket science—"

"But how does the baby start to grow in—"

"Shut the hell up—who's the fucking teacher? I am. And I'm getting to that."

* * *

Sakura realized that she would have to assign bedrooms for the guys herself, after checking four rooms and realizing that they had, for the fifteenth time, switch rooms since none of them could ever be satisfied with the lay of things, and one guy could take Tobi only so long before he started yelling and complaining about it on end till the other men gave in to switch.

She was trying to calm herself as she ran through each room in the house. She couldn't get herself worked up—really, how much damage could Hidan do in just _one day_? Sakura refused to answer since the truthful one would have been, "A whole hell of a lot."

She stopped at the door she was about to open when she heard some voice just a couple doors down from hers.

"—And after your dad has had that amazing hot sex, it figures that it would, a couple months later, cause her to get fatter than _hell_ and eat like a freakin' wacked out _cow_—that's you. With you growing humongous inside, duh—it's gonna affect the outside too. So there goes the best sex ever, since now she's pregnant, and even AFTER she gives birth to little shits like you (and believe me when I say that the sight is not the shiny _miracle_ of birth, like they tell you on TV, the bastards), she's still got to feed you, clothe you, take time off of job to take care of you—and the list goes fucking _on_ and _on_, so she won't have time for your father, officially sucking out all the hotness out of the relationship, at least until you get older to run off with your own little ugly assed girlfriend to make babies of your own and start the whole process over agai—"

He finally stopped as Sakura burst into the room, officially too late to stop the corruption—the look on the boy's face told her so as his eyes were the size of freaking Montana and his jaw was lowered down in shock.

Just great. Sakura groaned as she covered her eyes with her hand, in an attempted to hide the present scene from her mind and possibly make it_ just go away_.

Sakura opened her eyes. Nope, still there. She sighed.

"Did you _have_ to explain the entire thing to him?"

Hidan grinned, seeming to find something particularly funny.

"I'm just your regular old helper—only here for the goodness of children everywhere. A fucking _saint_." Besides, he thought he restrained himself pretty well on explaining it all.

Sakura closed her eyes again and tried to think of something worse that could have happened. There wasn't much. Except for him _dying_, so that was a plus. And there were no injuries. Another plus. And, anyways, while they were cruel, merciless fiends to destruction and chaos, it wasn't like any of them were in the business of killing little kids for no reason—for money, sure, but other than—

Oh hell. Again. Times two.

Since when had anyone ever figured out the reason that Itachi killed his _entire clan _other than just for the hell-of-it_? _Including women and children. And who knew what was going through that psycho's mind? Hell, for all she knew, the little kid could have some lint on his shirt that Itachi didn't like, and the kid'd end up dead.

Of course, that was ridiculous, but Sakura wasn't thinking very clearly or she would have remembered that Itachi didn't want to be found out either by the Hokage, and he possessed more control than the others—but, oh well.

Sakura was already grabbing the little boy's hand and racing out the door, not saying another word.

"That's what I get for being a fucking public servant. I'm too _old_ for this shit anyways. Jeez, last time I do this crap."

And then he turned back to his magazine, completely forgetting about anything that just happened.

* * *

"I like plants."

Zetsu blinked at the random statement, and wondered if she really said it as he turned his face toward her.

"And fresh air. Lets go outside." She continued as she already standing and starting to walk out of the room.

Zetsu followed the girl into the hallway, a foot behind. They didn't get very far before they were stopped at the sight of an angry little girl pulling an emotionless Itachi behind her. She saw Zetsu and walked straight up to him.

With a cute, angry look, she announced, completely serious, "My friend is broken. I want a new one."

Zetsu blinked at the little girl right before being crashed into by a frantic running pink-haired woman.

Sakura sucked in her breath as she blinked owlishly. Nothing like crashing into a split-personality-Akatsuki-cannibal, now, is there? Not that Zetsu really _minded_. . . .

Sakura rolled off of Zetsu, and stood up, while dusting herself off. At the very least, that knocked some sense into her, rather than continuing to lose her mind while running. She turned around to stop short at the sight of her target, being hand-held by a little girl with large doe-like eyes with a little teddy bear in the other hand.

Sakura's eyes moved from the little girl, to Itachi, back to the little girl.

"Um—is there anything wrong?" The little girl didn't seem too happy by the look she was giving. Angry, seemed more like it.

The little girl, deciding that _this_ woman was the actual one to speak to about her predicament, spoke up again and said, "I told Mr. Tall Green Man before you got here—" The little pointed her free hand to Itachi, "My play-friend-adult is broken. All he does is sit there all day and stare! I want a new one—maybe that one with the funny mask! He seemed really nice!"

Sakura used every ninja skill she had ever learned to hide her fear (did she really just _say_ that about _Itachi_?)—and the gigantic smile coupled with laughter that wanted to bubble up within her _so badly_. She thought she did pretty well, considering. The only thing noticeable that passed through her expression was a small crinkle at her eye. Hardly anything really—more like an uplifting underneath her eyes.

Sakura bit her lip as she turned away from Itachi, back to Zetsu. Out of sight, out of mind, if all else fails—and all else was failing. Yeah, sure, she hated Itachi with the passion of a thousands suns for what he did and who he was, and laughing would probably cost her her life . . . but that was the most hilarious thing she'd ever seen—and she still wasn't exactly right in the head yet from the conk to the noggin.

Sakura clasped her hands behind her back, still embarrassed from the crash and said, "I just woke up and was coming to find all the kids."

Zetsu nodded, as the corner of his mouth uplifted to reveal a couple sharp teeth.

"You were worried."

A statement.

Sakura looked up and away in guilt.

"Of crazy, psychopathic killers? No, _never_ . . ."

Sakura was going to grin along with Zetsu when she stopped and flinched inwardly. Here she was at ease—practically joking with him (an Akatsuki no less!) with Itachi standing there _watching_. For some reason, it just didn't feel right; it made her suddenly feel embarrassed, awkward, _and_ an idiot, all at the same time. She could practically feel the guy staring (even if it was more likely he was looking at floor, counting the tiles for entertainment, rather than care about the two of them).

Zetsu seemed to notice the change in her disposition as he said, "Don't worry—I don't believe any of us want to get caught for hurting a child. I'm sure—"

At that exactly bad moment, there was a loud crash and a _bang!_ in what seemed to be the kitchen.

Everyone turned their head towards the ruckus. Zetsu sighed. Sakura grabbed the two other kids, plus the one that had been in the care of Hidan, and took off running. Who in the hell could _that_ be?

* * *

As Sakura's face turned to horror at the sight, the other kids with her faces looked in _awe_ and _excitement_.

Figures.

On every wall, in every crevice, covered over every stationary object, and even the _un-stationary_ (such as the two people already in the room) objects, was some sort of khaki paste that looked suspiciously like dough. There was some sort of candy sticking to the ceiling, a green, gooey, substance that stuck to the walls, and only-God-knows-what on the floor—Sakura didn't even want to attempt all the crap there. It was most likely a combination of things.

Sakura turned to the couple of troublemakers with an unbelieving stare.

"What—what—I don't even—I mean—"

Really, what was she supposed to say to _this_?

A figure that seemed to be in the shape of Tobi (although it was hard to tell with all the—gook that covered him), grinned and took a step forward while motioning to a mound of—_what the hell is that?_—on (what used to be) the kitchen table.

"Does Sakura-chan like it?! Tobi made it himself with the help of Tobi's new friend Tommy! It was a lot of fun for Tobi and Tommy!"

Sakura stood speechless.

Tobi started to get nervous just standing there as Sakura gaped at them.

"Is Sakura-chan not happy?"

She stood stock-still, and continued to stare.

The only thing that came to mind to say was, "The—the noise?"

Tobi brightened.

"Well, Tobi and Tommy went looking all over the kitchen for flour and sugar and all the very nice stuff. When it was all out, Tobi and Tommy decided it would be best to combine them all! So we combined it all in one of those HUGE containers, Sakura-chan! We were about to add it to our new recipe—but the container was just _so heavy_ for Tobi and Tommy, holding it together, that it fell and made a huge, _BANG!_ with stuff EVERYWHERE!"

Tobi seemed excited for a second, before his façade fell as he looked down at Sakura.

"But—is that okay, Sakura-chan? Tobi did not mean any harm—nor did Tommy! Tobi is sorry!"

Tobi gave the impression of a starved, deprived, dog with huge water eyes that could kill any girl's heart as he stood there in front of her, next to the little boy. Now, if you asked _Sakura_ how he was able to pull this off while wearing a freaking _mask_, there would have been no way to explain, but only to be there, and have seen it.

Sakura finally crumbled and said, "_Fine, _it's okay—just—"

She had to stop as she heard another _BOOM!_—this time coming from outside.

Sakura turned her look on Tobi as he held his hands up in the air and said, "It wasn't Tobi! Tobi promises!"

Sakura groaned as she started ushering all the kids together, and running off to the source of _this_ new mess. It was now that Sakura knew that somebody up there was having fun with her. Damn it.

* * *

Sakura arrived just as Deidara sounded off with, "TWO—ONE—**KABOOM!**"

You heard it before you felt it. The bomb went off creating some sort of cylindrical shape, before making the real bomb explode high in the air with a loud _CRACK!_ and an even louder whistle as something came back down to the ground, just to explode again.

Sakura saw this all pass before her, and the other five children that were out there now, in shock.

"Are you _trying_ to kill them?!"

Deidara turned to her, still with stars in his eyes after accomplishing his most favorite pass time.

"I should kick your ASS for almost KILLING all of us! Have you lost your _mind_?!"

He turned back to where the explosion had just taken place.

"What'd you mean? That was ART!" Deidara said this while bringing his arms open wide to enunciate the word "art", before bringing them back down and continuing with, "I wonder if I could make it a little bit bigger with a little bit more of. . . ."

Sakura, finally in defeat, just shook her head, herded the new girl, who was equipped with goggles, with the other four, and left back into the house.

She could deal with him later—there were still one more kid to gather.

Sakura took a breath in as she prepared herself for the next scene.

* * *

Compared to all of the others, Kakuzu was relatively okay, normal-ish. As sad as that is.

Sakura walked in the room, while being tailed by the gang of kids, to see the little boy sitting cross-legged in front of Kakuzu who was in a similar position while saying, "Now, after you've killed the guy, always make sure you have some leverage over him in case he, one day, decided to get smart, and that there was _no point_ in paying you for the job. Rookies always make this mistake—but with leverage, you can _remind_ him why paying for the hit would be most beneficial."

The kid nodded.

Kakuzu shrugged.

"Of course, you could always just kill the man if he doesn't pay you, but then you never get the cash, and don't forget that it is ALWAYS in cash, and then you lose a client, and the guy is sure to have body guards. You could probably take those down easily, but, really, it isn't worth the effor—"

Kakuzu stopped, taking notice of their new audience.

Sakura looked at him blankly. He shrugged in reply.

Sure, compared to the others, teaching a seven-year-old boy about taking out hits on people was completely normal.

Sakura sighed as she took the boy's hand and pulled him out of the room, toward the living room, still being followed by what she was now nicknaming, her little duckling Chicks. Kakuzu followed behind as well, figuring there was nothing better to do with his time.

* * *

As Sakura ushered in her Chicks, she realized that the other Akatsuki members were already in there as a group, standing around. Kisame had finally turned off the TV, and was standing as well, while the two last children joined their group. She took in a breath as she stood in front of the two groups, just as she had at the very start of this whole thing.

"Now, I would like to know, _what_ you guys were _thinking_."

Zetsu cleared out his throat. Sakura turned to him.

"While you were knocked out, we decided the best course of action was to just split the children up, and take care of them ourselves. It really seemed to be the only option available."

"So corrupting them by teaching them about sex, how to be a good hit-man, destroying the kitchen, and BLOWING them UP, was your idea of accomplishing this?!"

The group stayed silent.

Sakura groaned as she rubbed her temples to ease her headache.

Kisame frowned as he said, "I don't think any of us did that badly. None of them were hurt." He motioned to the children who still had all of their limbs and with not even a scratch on them.

Sakura crossed her arms in irritation. The key word he left out was _yet_. None of them had been hurt _yet_. Her face showed what she was thinking without actually having to say it.

Tobi stepped forward saying, "We were just trying to help, Sakura-chan. Tobi is sorry—he did not mean to—Tobi does not think any of us meant to—"

Sakura sighed as she interrupted him with, "I KNOW—I know, Tobi. I didn't mean . . ." She frowned at them as it suddenly seemed as if _she_ was the evil, mean, babysitter. Even the kids were looking as if they were going to cry. Good Lord—she did it again. One step forward, three steps back. . . .

But did it always have to be her? She was always the one being driven mad trying to keep everything under control and everybody _safe_. But, even so, she now felt like the worst person in the world.

Still frowning, Sakura said quietly, "I'm sorry. I know you did your best, and it is very good that no one's hurt. Thank you guys."

Shamefaced, she looked up at the group. Sakura was surprised as she saw something she didn't expect.

Before, if this had happened, the group would have remained tense, mad, sad, tense, etc. . . . but instead, as she looked up, she saw Tobi grinning, Zetsu with flashing some of his teeth in a small smile, Kisame actually _nodding_, Hidan just rolling his eyes at the whole scene, Kakuzu crossing his arms and _not_ glaring (for once), but looked more like just satisfied, and Itachi . . . well, he seemed more interested in the wood flooring, but that was okay.

Sakura beamed at them. For once, she didn't have another weight added to her shoulders and having to worry about it all the time.

She wasn't sure if it was a good thing or bad thing that they were getting on better terms, but hey, she'll take what she can get.

Looking outside at the sunlight, Sakura realized that there was still a lot of time before lights-out for the kids.

Sighing with a watery smile on her face, she turned back to the guys and asked, "Since there's still lots of time," She motioned to the window, glowing with sunlight, "would you mind helping me out some, still? We'll just keep all the kids in this room so we can help each other out and make sure everything's okay—"

Being tackled to the ground by Tobi who yelled, "YES, Sakura-chan—Tobi will most DEFINITELY help out friend!" stopped Sakura from finishing her sentence.

Sakura, finally, without restraint, broke into a grin, and full out giggles. Some might argue she was hysterical, but the truth was, it had been a while since she had just let herself go like that—when she was around the Akatsuki, everyone was always painfully distant, and very shrewd about showing themselves. Sort of like being in a business meeting where everyone was a stranger and the atmosphere always remained tense just because no one was acting like themselves for the sake of the situation.

But now, maybe just for the moment, Sakura was happy, and she was _laughing_, not caring whom saw or how vulnerable and maybe even weak it made her look.

Tobi untangled himself and sat back from her.

"Is Sakura-chan okay? Sakura-chan sure is acting strange."

Sakura calmed herself down as she wiped away moisture gathering at the corners of her eyes.

She waved while saying, "No, no, Tobi—I'm fine. Just having one of those moments I guess."

Tobi nodded with all seriousness in a way that seemed like he actually did _not_ understand, but wanted to humor her anyway.

Clapping her hands together with a smile she said, "All right then—I guess it's time to get started!" Her smile widened when she turned around and saw that all of the guys were already settling down with a kid to humor. Well, mostly they just sat down and told the kid to shut up and not move, but it was good enough. She would probably bang her head against the wall later, wondering _what she was thinking_ when she let them help her, but at the moment, it seemed perfectly fine enough.

_Although_ . . . she might have to intervene more than once to stop them from completely corrupting the kids minds with "helpful" information about money, sex, blowing crap up, and killing people. Not exactly recommended children material, you know?

* * *

Feeling the urge, Sakura took a glance at the clock on the wall and realized how late it was. Looking around, she could already see sleepy faces and yawns being passed around the children.

Turning to the children, she said, "Well, I guess it's time for you guys to get some shut eye so you can get up early in the morning to go back!"

There was a collective "Awwwe" that went around the room as they turned to look at Sakura standing in the middle of the room. She smiled when she heard a small chorus of children muttering, "But I'm not _tired" _and,_ "_—please, can we stay up a little bit longer?" and, "But I don't _want_ to leave—I _like_ it here . . ." and more. Sakura smiled especially about not being tired when she was seeing more than a few kids rubbing their eyes, or already laying down.

Sakura pursed her lips in acting and said cheerfully, "Nope! Off to bed—I've got all your bed-blankets laid out in the den, across the way—everyone brush their teeth and pee _before_ you go to bed. You've already been fed dinner, so I don't want any late-night sneakers walking around saying, 'your hungry' even though we all know you're not! Go, now!" Sakura shooed them off with her hand as they slowly made their way, either into the bathroom, or into the den.

Turning back around, she looked at the guys with a smile. Deciding that they deserved it, she took a small bow and said, "Thank you for the help. I really needed it."

They stayed silent as they stared.

Rolling her eyes at their uncanny ability to make any person on the planet feel awkward, she turned around and went into the den to sleep as well, while saying, "Goodnight!"

Obviously, if any of the kids tried to get up and try to do anything, she'd hear it, even in her room, but it would cut back on the amount of escape attempts if she was sleeping right there, where the kids could _see_ and know she could hear and was watching.

Sighing as she laid down in her sleeping bag, she snuggled in, and closed her eyes to get some definitely needed rest. It was amazing how many problems just a couple of kids could cause. _Oh, well._

* * *

Even with all her ninja training and amazing internal clock control, there was no alarm like children in the morning.

Sakura sat bolt up when she heard complaining of some kid hitting another one, and one throwing something back, and the crying of kids being _hungry. _

Sakura begged,_ oh please let this not be a repeat of yesterday—my mind can't handle the _stress—

Everyone stopped when they heard the doorbell. Sakura looked at the clock and saw that it was eight o'clock on the dot.

This time, the Akatsuki were safely hidden when Sakura answered the door with the crowd of children in the back of her with wide, curious, eyes.

"Hello?"

Sakura poked her head out the door to look around, not seeing anyone. Suddenly, a crunched up paper ball was thrown at the porch. Sakura raised an eyebrow as she picked it up, and unwrinkled it to read it.

--

_Just leave the children on the porch and close the door. _

_They shall be transported as soon as you have gone back in the house._

_--  
_

Sakura looked at the note, confused, before completely exiting her house and looking at the bush that the paper ball was thrown out of. In the greenery, she could see a little bit of blond hair—

"Naruto—what are you _doing_? Come out already—there's no point in whatever it is that you're—"

Naruto popped his head out, and said, "_Shhh!_" then he popped his head back in the bush and threw out a note that repeated the same thing as the last note.

Sakura's eye twitched as the crumpled ball hit her forehead.

"Naruto, I'll give you three seconds to get your ass out here, and if you don't, I'm—"

Naruto jumped out, went around Sakura, and started rushing them out of the house, and out into the front yard. Some of the kids were making sad noises at the thought of leaving. The little girl holding a teddy bear stopped Naruto to pull on his clothes and say, "But I don't want to leave."

The girl turned to Sakura and said, "I know mister wasn't fun at tea-party and he sort of just stared at the table most of the time—but tell him I said thank you and bye-bye! I'll miss him too!"

Sakura felt the same bubble of laughter as she realized this was the girl that had said her friend was "broken" and she wanted a new one. Sakura held it in well, though.

The little girl looked at her teddy, and then back at Sakura as she said, "I'd give him Freckles so at least he could stare at that, but I don't think he would care about it much—might throw it away, and Freckles is my best friend at the Orphanage. Is that okay—if I keep him?" She looked up with big anime eyes, which could melt an iceberg in Antarctica.

Sakura nodded with a smile and replied, "That's just fine, sweetie. I'll be sure he knows what you said." It was good phrasing since she figured that Itachi could hear well enough, and Sakura would not have the guilt of not actually telling him because there was _nothing_ on the planet that could get her to tell _that_ to _him_.

Naruto looked at the girl weirdly. The word "mister" and "him" through him off since Sakura was supposed to be _alone_. Crap.

Sakura hurriedly answered his unasked question, saying, "A cat—his name's Mister, since I couldn't think of anything at the time. We let her play with the cat, but he's pretty . . . lazy and . . . doesn't do much."

Naruto seemed to get a knowing smile about the mention of a "cat" and nodded as he pulled the rest of the kids in a group in the front lawn.

Sakura grit her teeth as something inside of her just _clicked _at Naruto's look.

Angrily, she said, "_Naruto_—was this _your_ doing?!"

The only sign that Naruto had even heard was a small flinch—nothing more. He was trying to ignore her.

She cracked her jaw to the side, popping the joint.

"NarutOOOO!"

Sakura looked about to pounce.

Naruto looked up at her nervously as he shepherded the kids closely together.

"It—err—was for your own good, Sakura-chan. Just to—uh—help out—you know?"

Before she could respond, Naruto _POOF_'d_!_ himself, and the children, away.

Sakura drew blood from her hand as her nails dug in.

Still wanting retaliation, though, even if Naruto wasn't there, she yelled at her front yard, "I DON'T WANT ANY MORE HELP FROM ANYONE EVER AGAIN! GAAH!" and then she slammed the door, still huffing with anger at the closed door in the hallway.

A second later, she turned on her heel, and stomped all the way through the hallway and into the kitchen. She banged around in the –still messed up kitchen- till she found one unharmed bag of chips. After grabbing the bag, she stomped to the other side of the house, into the (finally) empty living room, where she plopped down, and started chomping down angrily as she turned on the TV, and starting to flip through the channels.

A few minutes later, Kisame and Zetsu strolled in and sat down on either side of her. A second later, Deidara walked in with Tobi who bounced in and laid down on the floor, propping his head up with his hand to watch the television too. Deidara sat cross-legged on the floor. They were followed by Kakuzu and Hidan who sat in the two Lazy-boy chairs that were position on either side of the couch. Even Itachi some how slipped in to sit on a chair that was placed just off to the side and a little bit back away from them. Or was he in there from the beginning? Sakura didn't try to even work it out. It wasn't worth the brainpower.

After sitting in what might be considered a relaxed atmosphere, Sakura suddenly stood up, with the guys watching her leave. Not even a third of a second passed before she was back and falling into her cushy seat on the couch, now holding a large bowl of chips.

Her face full of chips, she asked, "Anybody want?"

Of course, that was the damning words as, slowly, everyone (except for maybe Itachi) tried to get some chips, which started a mini-war for the bowl. So much for the relaxed atmosphere . . . but that was okay because, as far as Sakura was concerned, while the chaos and yelling started to ensue and she munched her mouthful of chips staring at the movie, this was just as good. It was more normal and natural.

Maybe having help every once and a while wasn't so bad after all. –As long as she never had to go through that mess again, though!

* * *

"All right, guys! I'm going out to get more cleaning supplies and groceries—don't destroy anything!"

Everyone in the house ignored her as they continued whatever activity they were doing as she shut the door.

A few minutes later, the phone started to ring.

Tobi looked around and soon realized that no one was going to put in the effort to answer the phone.

With a grin, he picked it up and said, "This is Sakura-chan's friend at Sakura-chan's house speaking—how may I help you?"

"_Hey—is this the same little boy from before?"_

Tobi nodded while replies, "Yes, yes it is! Hi!"

Naruto paused for a second before saying, _"That's good. Uh—It's kind of hard to tell if Sakura-chan was happy to take care of the kids or not—she seemed kind of mad, but then . . . that might be an act for us. Do you think . . .?_

Tobi got excited as he said, "Yes?"

"_Was Sakura-chan happier before the kids left?"_

Tobi considered this as the scene popped in his head where Sakura was laughing a lot after Tobi had tackled her. Then he thought about the night before where they had been watching TV and how Sakura had a soft smile.

Tobi grinned again.

"Yes, Sakura-chan was happier! Much, MUCH happier! This is wonderful!"

Naruto laughed over the phone as he said, _"Okay, then! We'll just have to schedule a second date for her, then, huh? Maybe even longer this time—a week, maybe?"_

Tobi's façade brightened even more as he said elated, "Yes—that would be very good for Sakura-chan so she'll be even HAPPIER! Maybe even longer than that!"

Naruto replied with a, _"Believe it! Sakura-chan's going to have the best time of her life! Thanks, kid! Bye!"_

"Bye-bye!"

Tobi hung up and then went skipping around the house all day, everybody not knowing why, nor caring enough to ask. When Sakura got home, she did mention it in passing to him. His only reply was that he was so happy to have helped out his Sakura-chan.

After all, what were friends for but to be helpful?

* * *

_**Author's Notes**:_

_**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Not Naruto. Not the Akatsuki kitty plot. Nothing. Not even Lazy-boy chairs. No griping at me.__ I based this one-shot off of Fallacy and Aelibia's story Take It or Leave It, for a contest. They know about this and have given me permission to post this, so I'm not breaking any rules. You can message them if you don't believe me, I promise. My fiction has nothing to do with their plans on their future chapters, so don't think this story has any weight. It's just for fun.  
_

_I really wanted to post this because I just worked on this so hard and for so long that I felt it a waste for it to just disappear--especially since i lost the contest! ^.^ lol, but I'm not mad and I completely understand--the people who won probably wrote much better--I know about one of the author's and read one of their stories currently--it rocks SOX. I had no chance. Unfortunately. Ah, well._

_But I'm wondering what you think about it anyway, and hopefully I really didn't do too bad. Thank you--I hope you guys aren't mad if you don't like it, even though you love TIOLI--I really don't want to ruin your experience. Just for fun, yeah? Please try not to go all psycho on me. :D lol. And for all of those out there waiting for me to type up "Find Faith"--this is the story that I have been putting the blame on for not updating--because I was working on this. :D Hopefully not a complete waste of my time, huh?_

_And, no joke, I made the funniest error that I didn't catch till after I sent in my story for the contest. I can only imagine what Fallacy and Aelibia thought when they read it._

_--_

"Are you _trying_ to kill them?!"

Deidara turned to her, still with stars in his eyes after accomplishing his most favorite pass time.

"I should kiss your ASS for almost KILLING all of us! Have you lost your _mind_?!"

He turned back to where the explosion had just taken place.

--

_Yeah. Not supposed to be kiss. Oops. Ah, well..._

_Thanks for reading. Please review._

_Sorry for terrible grammar. I'm just terrible that way. And sorry for the cursing. _

_Realistically, that's probably what they would have said, and there really seemed no way around it.  
_

_Rock on and payce out ^_-_


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